Can We Please Leave Black Women Alone?
On behalf of black women everywhere, please let us be. We are tired.
As a population group, black women have been placed at the centre of many harmful narratives or we’re put up on a pedestal which doesn’t account for the complexities of our humanity. Sometimes it feels like we're not allowed to just exist. If we're not being fetishized or idealised, we're being mocked or criticised for something that a woman of another race would probably get away with. We need not look any further than the British media's criticism of Meghan Markle to prove that I'm right. Or that I have a little bit of a point. This racially toned, completely biased coverage was one of the reasons the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced that they would be stepping down from their positions as senior members of the royal family. Since their relationship was made public, Meghan has been on the receiving end of some harmful reporting from the tabloids. Kate Middleton [The Duchess of Cambridge] on the other hand is either not criticised for the same actions or receives much less backlash than Meghan. Below is one of many instances where the same publication reported the same action in a very different light.
I don't think it's much of a reach to conclude that there are racial connotations to the coverage that Meghan receives. British society was built on racism and classism therefore the existence of a black Duchess is not going to be well received. It's incredibly unfair but I can't say I'm surprised. One writer suggested that the vitriol is a rite of passage that would have subsided had Meghan committed herself to the royal duties presented to her like Kate or Diana before her. There might be a semblance of truth to this but from the get-go, Meghan has been measured against a very different criteria. Assuming that all it would take is some time gives the British media more credit than they deserve. Instead of focusing on journalism, the media prioritised turning the public’s opinion against Meghan at every step. Prince Harry spoke up, relating it to the harsh treatment of his mother and people made memes about it. He discussed the negative effect it was having on his wife’s mental health and we trivialised it. Meghan herself spoke out and said she wasn’t okay but she was called attention seeking. Society subjects black women to unfair criticism, tears them down then gaslights them when they speak up. Everybody is allowed to say they're not okay except for black women. We’re either not believed like in Meghan’s case or we’re told to be strong and rise above it all. Please tell me, how do you rise above waters you're drowning in?
Let's depart from the royal court and move onto the tennis court. Serena Williams is in my opinion the greatest tennis player alive. Maybe the greatest tennis player ever. Tennis, as many of us know, gets very heated and many players resort to smashing rackets when particularly frustrated. I'm not endorsing this as a valid form of expressing anger, but I would like to point out the difference in how the media reacts when Djokovic or Nadal do it as opposed to when Serena does it. Since the start of her career, she's been typecast as tennis' "angry black woman". No matter what she does, it's perceived as heated, or aggressive or intimidating. All the woman has to do is take a breath and the media reports it as a 'heated exchange'. True story. During the interviews after her first match post-partum, she was baited by a journalist about past accusations of drug use. Her response was calm and poised and it gave the accusations no grounds to stand on. Let's take a moment to discuss the racial implications of this question with special consideration for the fact that Maria Sharapova, a confirmed drug abuser, received less direct scrutiny than this. Heck, Sharapova even managed to gain entry into Harvard and retain her luxury brand sponsorships even after being suspended from the sport. Serena on the other hand was attacked for responding calmly to what I'm inclined to call an unethical line of questioning. She’s had her emotions, hair, clothing and body scrutinised by the public for years.
That's not where it stops though. Williams has dealt with blood clots for much of her life and during the birth of her daughter, a pulmonary embolism nealy cost her life. Ever since, she’s been taking extra care to ensure that her blood can circulate efficiently during games. Which makes sense. For the French Open (a tournament Williams has won not once, not twice, but thrice), Nike custom made her a compression suit inspired by Black Panther. Since Nike pays exorbitant amounts of for this sponsorship, we can assume that a. they wanted to do a good job and b. they knew what the regulations are for sportswear at this tournament. Tell me why, the president of the French Tennis Federation Bernard Giudicelli saw the suit and decided to impose new uniform rules saying, "I think that sometimes we've gone too far." This man even went as far as to single out Williams' all-black catsuit and say, "It will no longer be accepted. One must respect the game and the place." I feel like we have to discuss the sexist and racial connotations of these comments. Why does this have the same energy as schools insisting that the shoulders of little girls should be covered up to avoid distracting their male classmates? In addition to completely disregarding the suit's purpose *ahem* avoiding a pulmonary embolism and keeping its wearer alive *ahem*, I can't help but think that these comments would not have been made if the suit had been worn by a player of another race. Let's discuss the hypersexualisation of black women and black girls for a little bit. What exactly do Giudicelli's comments about appropriateness mean if he's not trying to say the suit is too sexual for the court? And then I have to ask, how? Please outline to me how a compression suit, resembling an exercise top and leggings is too sexual for a sports arena? Like I genuinely don't understand and I'm going to need someone to outline it to me. My next question is specifically for Giudicelli, if you'd rather she not wear exercise clothing whilst she plays tennis what do you suggest?
*I've refrained from mentioning the barrage of monkey-themed caricatures newspaper cartoon artists have made of Williams because I have nothing articulate to say about them. I don't like them and I shouldn't have to explain why
Similar to the hypersexualisation of black women is the fetishization. The public can label us a monkey or an ethereal goddess and it seems like it's a coin toss as to which label we get. There's no in-between. Don't assume I'm complaining about being complimented [words of affirmation are my love language]. I just find it interesting how over-the-top or incomplete these 'positive' words sometimes are. For example, think back to how people compliment Beyonce vs. Lupita Nyong'o. Beyonce is beautiful or talented or mesmerising or inspiring full stop. Most of the media coverage in support of Lupita has to mention her Nubian or chocolatey or rich complexion. And it stops there. For many people, myself included, Lupita is incredibly affirming. She is overwhelmingly intelligent, a style icon, has such a warm heart, the most radiant smile, can rap better than most, oozes talent, and she carries herself with the self-assuredness we all dream of. I love watching her speeches because usually, she speaks to my inner child or the insecurities I hadn't let myself realise were still there. With all that in mind, I would appreciate it if the discourse around her existence made me roll my eyes less. Like yes, she's Kenyan. Yes, she went to Yale. Yes, she is multilingual. Please stop being surprised. You can be amazed, or proud or inspired. But your surprise leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The nature of how people discuss Lupita Nyong'o raises the question: "Is her beauty worshipped because she's black, or because she's somehow transcended our superficial idea of what black is?" - Eugene Lee Yang.
p.s. if you use the words exotic or articulate in your description of her, I'm out
If you thought children were exempt from this treatment, I'm sorry but you're wrong. Although I would like to congratulate you on your faith in humanity. Never lose that. The criticism of black women has no age requirements. There are no height or age requirements for this [emotional] rollercoaster. Let's talk about Blue Ivy Carter. Daughter of Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter, the first of her name. Since her birth Blue has been criticised for her hair texture, her facial features, her skin tone, her voice, her personality. Basically, anything that could be commented on. People even complained about her feature on 'Brown Skin Girl'. Like y'all, she was 7. What kind of vocals where you expecting from a 7-year-old? The joke is obviously on the trolls because sis is in her bag, she has more success in her pinky finger than most of her haters will have in their lives which is probably why they're mad. She has writing credit and a feature on her mother's latest album and will be narrating the audiobook of the award-winning 'Hair Love'. The name might sound familiar because earlier this year it won an Oscar for Best Animated Short Film. Many of the rude comments aimed at Blue have been about her natural hair so she's essentially the perfect talent to read the book to the world. Nothing says ‘later haters’ like a big fat paycheck. All that being said, I'd still like the media to leave this poor girl alone. Just because she turned this negative into a positive doesn't mean she should have had to. She's 8 now and the comments haven't stopped. Just days into this year, two journalists took to the bird app to comment on her appearance. Not only that, they felt justified bringing her father into this, calling him ugly as well. Not only did we not ask for this, it’s just plain rude. Both Jay and Blue have unmistakably black features which triggers some very anti-black behaviour from some grown adults that should know better. Or find something else to do with their time. TheGrio's Blue Telusma put it perfectly when she said, "The only thing that child has ever really done to offend her "haters" is have the nerve to look so unapologetically Black." Point black period.
I could continue this list on black women that have been wronged by media narratives but I think you get the idea and this makes me sad so I'd like to stop now. If you still don't understand what I'm talking about, scroll back the top and read this again. Honourable mentions for black women that should be left alone go to Keke Palmer, Halle Bailey, Amanda Seales, Gabourey Sidibe, Zendaya, Jackie Aina, Ava DuVernay, Willow Smith and Michelle Obama. I'm tired of black women being held to a standard that somehow justifies the negative narratives and the constant calling out. Regardless of validity. I'm tired of black women being the only group described with no nuance or regard for our humanity. It’s exhausting.
“Enough with the coerced headlines that are assigned to highlight the baseless attributes that Black women are slaughtered with, while their White counterparts are prettied up with labels that describe the human experience with all the complexities that apply”. - Nile Girl
READ MORE:
The French Open Won’t Let Serena Williams Wear Her Black Panther–Inspired Bodysuit
Please Stop Fetishizing Lupita Nyong'o
Journalists apologize for rude comments about Beyoncé's daughter Blue Ivy
Grown Adults are Calling Blue Ivy Ugly on the Internet
Beyonce's Daughter Called 'Bossy Brat' After Shushing Her Parents at the Grammys
Blue Ivy narrates audiobook of Matthew Cherry’s ‘Hair Love’
